Sweet


Adult themed

Red lips
Writhing hips
Bouncing breasts

Sweet
Seductive
Provocative

Raking nails
Aching flesh

Burning desire
Unquenchable fire

Twisted limbs
Scratching and clawing

Tangled
Sweating
Heading for bliss

Sweet release
Explosions abounding

Becoming one
Moments frozen in time

A smile etched upon your face
Have taken you to an unknown place…

Twisted Lies


Tighten the noose around my neck
Tighten it good
Tighten it right

Make it choke me like all your lies
Spin me around so I can look straight into your eyes

Watch me kick and try to scream
Watch me dangle and squirm

Look at me!!!
Look at me!!!
I am this way because of you!!!

Blackened heart
Demons abounding

Choking
Swinging
Twisting in a circle

Dying slowly
Gasping from an invisible rope
These final words fall from my lips

No longer do I lust for you
Your beauty is transparent now
Your games quite see through
So please just end this here

Kick the chair
Watch me swing

Cut me down
Bury me six feet deep

Dead and quiet…

So much better than alive and your fool…

Wanting To


Wanting to fly
Wanting to soar

Grounded to this earth
Grounded to this pain

Suffering in darkness
Suffering day by wretched day

Only relief I find is in the bottle
Only relief from a deep internal sorrow

I want to fly
I want to be free
But this liquor holds me here

Grounded
Two feet in a bottle

Sick and unwilling to listen
Trapped inside my own liquid prison

Watching everyone so free…

All I can do is wish it was me…

Dream


Peaceful
Quiet
I dream a silent dream
Drifting far away from my tattered mind
A world away from broken day’s
Soaring on silken wings
Free from sorrow and pain

In this dream I whisper your name
Calling out time and again
Come fly with me
Leave your troubles on the ground
Join me
Just take my hand
Come
Fear not
For in real life
Or in my dream state
I will always hold you
Keep you safe
Forever wrapped
In
My
Wings
Of
White

Mixing


Read someone else’s words a few day’s back causing me to reflect on my own past and how far I have come in recent years.

Down so low
Trapped inside a scrambled world

Some way
Any way
Just need an out

An escape
A train from this can’t handle reality

So I look inside a bottle
Numbs the pain only for a little while

So I mix it up
2 or 3 Vicodin to make my head spin
A nice glass of Drambuie to wash it down

Swirling
Dizzy
Relaxed

Sitting back
Writing my heart

Time to reflect
Space to think

Eventually passing out

Praying
Hoping
My wish not to wake

For if I do
I will just mix it up even more

And just try again…
And again…
And again…

All alone
No regrets
Just mixing things up

Not caring if living or dying
No one left who understands me anyway…

I Am


I am
Prophet
Preacher
Sinner
Lover
Gambler
Fighter
Opinionated
Shy
Depressed
Smiling
In your face
Invisible
Poetic
Seeking
Thirsting
Longing
Self destructive
Hell bent
Silent
Smiling
Hiding
Twisted
Broken
Living
Dying
Rotting
Decaying

So many things rolled into one…
But most of all…
I am my own worst nightmare…

Rainbows And Unicorns


Pen and paper in hand
Sitting upon my ornery horse

What to write?
What to write?

Of course!!
Of course!!

I will write about rainbows and unicorns!!

Clopping down the trail
Up and down
All around

Where-o-where is my unicorn?

Somewhere
Somewhere

Maybe over there?

I can see the rainbow
But I can’t find my unicorn

Rabbits
Gophers
Walruses and bears

All these animals are making me scared!!!

Whoo
Whoo
I am calling out

Ah ha
Ah ha
There you are
Way up in that tree

Silly unicorn why are you hiding from me?

Dear Jesus


When my hour-glass has run out
When my blip in time has passed

When I no longer struggle on this path
When I can finally just take a breath

When all my sorrows are gone
When all of me is once again whole

When voices are no more
When demons have vacated my front porch

When before my eyes my life flashes
When the gates open and I pass through

When I cross the other side
When I sit dangling my feet from my cloud

When my eyes are bright
When I sing a happy song

Eternally grateful for being forgiven
But hopefully allowed to ask just this one question

Dear Jesus could you leave an extra light on?

You already know this…

But I am awful afraid of the dark…

Damned


A rewrite of something I felt was never really finished. Aug 2010/OCT 2011

Always falling
Never hitting the ground

Damned to an existence of torture and pain
Violent voices crowd my brain

Anxiety
Depression
Demonic decay

Reduced to a shell
Dying slow
Dying in pain

In my own distorted reality
I enjoy the distress
The lonely
The silent darkness

The lie I show when I smile
The deception there are no demons eating my soul

Eventually I will break and fold
Giving in to the ultimate sin

Pills?
A bottle of booze?
A gaping gunshot wound?

Maybe a noose strung high?

How long till I cave?

Cannot
Will not
Never ever tell

Why?

Because silly…

Only the voices know…