2012 in review

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2012 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

600 people reached the top of Mt. Everest in 2012. This blog got about 5,400 views in 2012. If every person who reached the top of Mt. Everest viewed this blog, it would have taken 9 years to get that many views.

Click here to see the complete report.



Ash grey

Midnight black


Sign posts

Open stretches of lost time

Wide open spaces of nothing

Too much time to think

Ash grey

Midnight black

Concrete or tar

Doesn’t matter

Wheels keep turning

Mind still fixed


Drifting in and out

Every thought

Each song on the radio

For or about only you…


Is there no end?

Voices whisper evil things inside my head

I know that nobody sees the demons walking beside me
The demons that torment and never leave

Constricting my soul

I pray for an end to the darkness

I scream for them to leave me alone

My skin is crawling
My eyes are black

Hope is lost
Insanity reins

All these demons inside my brain


Totally insane…

Just wishing for death…

Ordered Up

Ordered up

A special

Just for you

A mish mash

A hodge poge

All cooked together
In a scalding caldron of lies


Half truths

Denial and desperate deceptions

Ordered up

Just for you

A special place

A permanent home

An eternal slow walk

Back and forth

Too and fro

Just retracing your path

Over and over again

Ordered up

My wish for you

To be trapped behind my eyes

Inside my brain

To see and feel everything that comes my way

Ordered up

Welcome to my Hell…


The ache is creeping back

I pushed it off as long as I could

Too much emotion to keep behind one little door

Pressure building!!

Tensions mounting!!

Thoughts abounding!!

Just need to run and hide

Don’t want to see the outside

All I can do is cry

Can’t stand this longing

The feeling of not being where I need to be

Mixed up!!

Twisted up!!

Covering my tears!!

Pretending life is all happy and clear

I don’t understand why
Never have I felt this way

It’s not going away
Only getting worse

Why has God put this upon me?

What I feel is wrong
Against morality

Always logical to the core

Now I just want to throw it all out the door

To run away

Start over

And be with the one I adore…