How?


Tonight

Feeling lower than ever before

 

Thinking

Pondering

Mind wandering

 

Lost in a fog

Aimless

No direction

 

Heart without a home

Soul without a mate

Taking word trip down memory lane

 

Conversations

Writes

Holding each other up day noon and night

 

Beyond a friendship

A soul connection

Sharing things sworn to never be told

 

Promising to be there

A pinky swear promise never to leave

 

So tonight

Counting back

14 months since I heard from you last

 

I sit

Thinking

Reflecting

 

On lines

Single words

 

Picking apart phrases

Looking for answers I’ll never find

 

Like why I called you my princess?

 

And why I can’t come to the reality that your never coming back…

Silvery Sky


So I look towards the silvery sky

I exhale

I sigh

Where o where has my dear love gone?

Picked up in a tornado?

Lost in a blizzard?

Washed away in a flood?

Declared dead from an overdose of narcotics?

For once you were here

And now you have gone

I am hurt

I am puzzled

So I make another wish to the silvery moon

Same wish

For the one billionth time

Please come back so I can live again…

Debris


I see your face
Wincing
Crumpled
Busy as you hold back every emotion

I see your fingers
Twisted
Shaking
Balled in agony

I hear your voice
Whispering
Crying silently
Breaking like dropped glass

I feel your heartbeat
A skipping rhythm
Irregular
Out of tune

I feel your weight
I taste your tears
Yet I no not your pain

I listen
I see
I hear
I long

I watch as you gently brush the debris from the stone of my grave…

Whispering


Whispering into the air
Where are you my dear?

Right here
Yet here nor there
But at the same time everywhere

I am skipping
Dancing
Twirling a new path

I am the wind
The sun
The clouds
The Earth beneath your feet

Whispering softly
Where are you my dear?

I am here

Right beside you

In front of your eyes

Can you not see me?
Feel me?
Touch me?

Whispering softly
A tear slowly falls

Years slipped by so quickly

Only memories remain

For now you are gone…

A Bond


A broken bond
Still attached
All but severed

Twisted
Bent
Just hanging by a thread

Once strong
Now weak
Weighed down over time

Words
Promises
Secrets piled on

Too much burden
Eroded soil
Exposed roots
Our bond crashing down upon us

Like the first

Not the last

Just another in a long list of slow painful goodbyes….

Tonight


My mindset was in a very dark place when I wrote this.
But that is why I write. To let the bad things out and not bottle everything up.

Tonight I have fallen
Lowest depths of rock bottom

Sipping the bottle slowly
Praying the suffering will ease

Speaking out loud
Writing it down
Asking God again for help

To please ease my ache
To cure the burden in my heart
To finalize what for so long I don’t understand

Tonight
Darker than all others

All twisted up
Just dying inside

Unsteady
Unstable
Pressure building
Capped tight

Tonight
Cracking like a mirror
Each emotion falling to the floor

Too much to bear
Too much to take

Ignored
Unanswered
Forsaken by the Lord

So from now on
All my wrong feelings
Everything buried and hidden
The love I truly feel

I will never again speak of…