Who Am I

Smoke drifts
My mind follows
Eyes sputter to keep up

Watching in amazement
The twisting twirling
Curling and rolling before complete dissipation

High now
Not afraid to admit
Eases the demons of migraines
Numbs the hell of depression

Rain now falling
Glancing skyward

So many unanswered questions

Branches swaying
Outlined faintly in foggy moonlight

A long breath
An easing of thoughts
A peace setting in


Finally seeing the plan
Whispering thanks

Yet stubbornly defiant
Still not liking the outcome

Smoke drifts again
Back now from somewhere else

My eyes sputtering
Limbs numb
A realization

My job is done

And who am I to further question God?

Is This?

Is this my fate?
This darkness
This mess
This wall of protection
This inner torture years of neglect have caused

Is this my fate?
Buried still half alive
Stuffed into society’s shallow grave
Pronounced and tagged before my time

Is this my fate?
To be shattered
Broken and disabled on the roadside
Rusting away
Blistering under the judgement of others

Is this my fate?
Left on my own to pick all the small pieces

Is this my fate?
To cower
To wallow
To accept what I have not created

Is this my fate?