As I Stand


As I stand on the edge of the abyss

My mind beginning to wander

Pondering

Expressions

Names

Faces

Skeletons long forgotten

Places barely remembered

As I stand on the edge of the abyss

My toes suspended

Free from gravity’s pull

Dangling

Hovering

Just waiting for the rest of me to follow…

Distance


In my heart
Within my tired mind
Behind my eyes
A path grown over

Inside my head
No clarity
No direction
Only fear of tomorrow
Complete panic
Total desperation

Hidden in my soul
A distance growing
A breakdown
A meltdown
A fractured distorted reality

Looking outward from within
Just hoping
Praying
Longing for simplicity
Blindly reaching into oblivion

Grasping for a step forward
Falling backwards
Never quite attaining square one…

Tonight


My mindset was in a very dark place when I wrote this.
But that is why I write. To let the bad things out and not bottle everything up.

Tonight I have fallen
Lowest depths of rock bottom

Sipping the bottle slowly
Praying the suffering will ease

Speaking out loud
Writing it down
Asking God again for help

To please ease my ache
To cure the burden in my heart
To finalize what for so long I don’t understand

Tonight
Darker than all others

All twisted up
Just dying inside

Unsteady
Unstable
Pressure building
Capped tight

Tonight
Cracking like a mirror
Each emotion falling to the floor

Too much to bear
Too much to take

Ignored
Unanswered
Forsaken by the Lord

So from now on
All my wrong feelings
Everything buried and hidden
The love I truly feel

I will never again speak of…