Everything

Everything inside
All things hidden

Spilled
Dumped out

Written
Consumed

Misunderstood
Questioned

Motives
Truths
Distorted

Word of mouth
Misquoted

Purity of thought
Trampled
Violated

Words
Phrases

Once sacred
Held close

Now lost
Gone forever

Meaning being everything
My words
My pain

Now nothing
Just smeared ink on the page…

A Place

Tired

In a dark place

Everything revolving

Falling…

Falling…

Downward spiral…

Returning…

The tumblers to their proper place…

My Demons

Shaken

Rumbling

Awakened from slumber

Demons set forth to pillage and plunder

Cursing

Robbing

Destruction with no end

No rhyme

No reason

Just set on damnation

Voices whispering

Haunting and taunting

Running wild

Ruining my mind…

Shall

Shall I tell the tale?
The tale of my twisted heart

Beaten
Battered
Bruised

Left on the roadside
Left to rot
Left over and over for dead

Shall I tell the tale?
The tale of my twisted broken mind

Misunderstood
Mistreated

Called a underachiever
Berated by every non believer

Shall I tell the tale?
Of sadness
Of depression

The daily struggle
A battle that never ends

Shall I tell the tale?
That every time I’m counted out

I rise
Stand taller
And fight harder

Than
Ever
Before…

Screaming

Three voices
Maybe four

One man?
Two women?
One faded cannot understand

Misunderstood
Ganged up on

Backed in a corner
Tearful
Angry

Buttons pushed
Limit reached

Gloves off
Seething

Vengeful
Fighting back
Swinging for the fences

Voices
Screaming

Rage
Sorrow

Slamming doors
Fading hollow footsteps

Tears

Disbelief

Head in hands

Last bridge burned

Changes in the wind

A bold step

Soon no turning back…

New Tricks

Old problem
New tricks

Simple solution?
Long road
No quick fix

A mindset
Not my fault

A blessing
A curse

Programmed
Wired
See and feel things others can’t

An encounter
A talk

Suggestions
Finally answers

A limit
A switch
I have the power

Tune in
Block out

My choice
My call

New tricks
Long road ahead

My mind
Piece by piece
Wrestling back what slipped away from me……

A Light

Through the darkness
A light

In the distance
Through squinting eyes
Hope

So long grasping
Crawling
Trying to believe

Lost focus
All desire
Any reason to live

In the distance
A speck
A tiny dot

At this moment
Refocused
On myself

Finally
In the distance

A light…

This

This pain
Ingrained

It’s me
Who I am

Hard as I have tried
I can never be free

Through years of hiding
Tears
Denial
Not understanding

This curse
This blessing
I have finally come to terms

Others attracted
Like a moth to a flame

Reading
Healing words

My soul
Absorbing
Understanding the pain

This is my blessing
My curse
My soul reason upon this earth

Letting Go

This pain within
This ache
This hurt
Today I have come to terms

This distance
This sorrow
All that I can’t understand
I must let go

This mindset
All the darkness within

Every immoral thought
Want
unfulfilled need

Must be buried
Left to rot
Die in unfertile soil

Tonight
I vow
Some way
Some how

To bury the past
And to just let everything go…

A Fine Line

Since my muse seems to be on vacation tonight. Thought I would dig up some really old stuff so I would at least have something to post.

All I can do is try to hold on
Not getting to close for fear of loosing you

A fine line has now been drawn
Your actions playing me like a pawn

One day so close
The next so far
My heart is all confused with this thing called the blues

Today is good for I love you as my friend
But when I awake tomorrow my soul will bleed till there is no end

Each and everyday I reach my breaking point
But still I push on

The reason if I don’t
My one true friend will be gone

11/26/90