Faded

The time has passed

The sun has set

Long gone now

Those day’s of youth

Only faint memories

Remembering

A smile creeping

Then like time

Quickly fading away

The time has passed

The sun has set

Eye sight fades

Skin once taught

Glowing

Vibrant

Now aged

Weathered like an old boot

And just as tough

But my time is now passed…

My hour-glass has run out…

My sun has set…

These words…

My Last…

Vomit

Cheer up

Please I don’t want to hear it

Your words ring hollow

They don’t mean a thing

They just create a hollow thumping

An insane banging inside my brain

I would if I could

But I can’t

Not because I won’t

But for the reason that I am broken

My wires are crossed

My circuits are fried

All I carry inside is darkness

A lonely that never goes

How many times can I explain I can’t just wish this away?

All this anxiety

Overflowing

Nowhere to go

A future uncertain

A past hiding around every corner

Insanity

So close

Yet somehow just out of reach

Ready to go crazy

Yet never crossing the threshold

So for sanity’s sake

I write

Every night emptying the bucket

Purging myself of the day almost past

Only knowing tomorrow it will fill itself full again

And I

Will be

As always

Same time

Same place

Pen

Paper

Just more meaningless vomit upon a once clean page…

Burdened

Roots
Deep and tangled
Stretching
Reaching
Yearning

Always the foundation
Never seeing the sun

Supporting the weight
Carrying the load
Forgotten until they are gone

Quiet
Unseen
Shouldering the world

Tangled roots
Bound and buried

Like me
In the dark
Unable to run…

I Don’t

I don’t want to hurt anymore

I don’t want to cry

I don’t want to live

I don’t want to die

Can’t stand to be busy

Can’t stand to be idle

Just stuck watching time pass

The clock moving backwards

Life unraveling

Waking up the next day

Wondering where the last 25 years went

I don’t want to hurt anymore

I don’t want to cry

But tonight as I think back

I can’t feel anything more than totally helpless…

Tonight

Tonight I write with a heavy heart

My words tainted

Jaded

Forged in anger

Mad at God

The Devil

Hating everything

Everyone

Emotions raw

Still bottled

Unwilling

Not ready to release

Tonight I write with a heavy heart

For you have slipped from our grasp

Ascended to a higher place

Answered to a greater calling

Tonight I write with a somber tone

For brain cancer has claimed another victim…

This Year So Far

This year so far really sucks

It needs to go away

And not too soon

And not fast enough

Got through the first of January without a worry

Then came the second

AND BOOM!!!!

Everything went to hell

Three cases of cancer

Two broken ankles

And one trip to the ER for an asthma attack

I am stressed

I am strained

And about three seconds from running away and joining the circus

So come on God

What else you going to throw at me?

Give it your best shot

How about a lightening bolt from above?

Maybe frogs

No you would never do that

I love the legs

Deep fried and covered in garlic, pepper and hot sauce

So I would be denied that tasty treasure

Why I don’t know

You tell me…you have got all the answers

Now I sit pondering this six-week disaster

Angry at God

But happy with a rare moment to myself

Zoning out

I can feel my heartbeat

I can hear myself exhale

I start to relax

Then a voice whispers in the back of my brain

You forgot to take the trash out

And of course your shoes are off

Can’t go barefoot

Too cold

Freeze my toes

Nine degrees

Ten feet of snow

So right there!

With that!

I proved my point

Ha ha very funny God

Now back the #@$! up

Really

I am serious

Back off

You are really starting to put a strain on our relationship…